As a small child, I remember sitting on the floor while my mother braided my hair. Just thinking of it invokes the scent of Blue Magic Bergamont hair grease. I didn't know it at the time, but we were pretty poor. My mother stayed home and took care of my older brother and me. My father worked hard and long hours in construction.
"It's because you are a very special girl... Don't you forget it."
My mother had an exceptional talent for braiding hair and putting beads on the ends. She usually watched soap operas or the 700 Club while braiding my hair. On this particular day, All My Children was on the air. As my mother added the last row of beads, Adam Chandler looked at me through the TV screen and said, "Rosa, your hair is so beautiful!"
My mother and I squealed with joy and did a little happy dance. "Did you hear that, Mama? He said my name! He talked to me through the TV! How did he know my name?"
My mother grinned from ear to ear and replied, "It's because you are a very special girl. Everyone knows that. Don't you forget it."
That was one of my earliest memories of knowing that there was something special about me. That day a tiny little seed was planted deep inside. Over the years, that seed has been watered by affirmations, good deeds, and God's word. The truth about my worth is deeply-rooted in my heart.
Life is funny. It has unique ways of honoring and disregarding our “knowing.” Life honored my “knowing” when I made the cheerleading squad, got accepted to college, enjoyed a circle of great friends, won achievement awards, and had success with fertility. Life dishonored my inner voice when I was abandoned by my father, teased for wearing off-brand shoes, and rejected by my first love. During the times I felt like a victim to my circumstances, the spirit of God stirred my knowing --as He always does--to help me find my way back to my reality: I am special.
After being married for seven years, my husband and I added two amazing boys to our family within two years. Learning how to juggle work, family, marriage, health, ministry, and friendships was very overwhelming. I found myself feeling super stuck—very removed from my "knowing." You see, before juggling the responsibilities of being a wife and mom, I had a life goal of becoming a social entrepreneur, one who built agencies to help people grow and heal. I knew that was a part of God's plan for me, but it seemed impossible to get unstuck.
Finally, I mustered up enough courage to talk to Carrie, a mentor-friend, about how I was feeling. I openly spoke with her and explained how I aspired to meet my goals but was struggling to figure it all out. My dreams about the future were always interrupted by my fears: "If I do what I want to do, will I have a retirement? What will the family do about health insurance? What if I'm not good enough? What if I put myself out there and not enough people are interested in what I have to offer?"
Carrie respectfully confronted me about my limited and negative thinking, helped me figure out my first step, and encouraged me to take a risk. This simple intervention ignited my faith and gave me the strength to actively pursue God's plan for my life.
Trusting a friend with my heart and pressing through feelings of fear and inadequacy unlocked the door to my future. This one step launched my dreams and helped me reconnect with my "knowing." Once I reconnected with my knowing, I started to live again.
I jumped out into the deep and began taking risks! I quit a stable job in education, took a pay cut to work in mental health, and built a private practice while working full-time.
It's quite interesting—at this particular point of my life, I was 15 years into a professional career of helping people overcome fears, plan for the future, and pursue their dreams. It's quite baffling to me: How was I able to help others but not myself?
Life humbles you. No matter who we are, where we've been, or what we have accomplished, we all have limits. Limits are apart of our humanity.
Most of us have the answers we need inside. We just need help choosing to honor our inner voice.
I would love to help you take the limits off and support your journey to thrive in love and life.